Monthly Archives: January 2012

Sausage Egg and Cheese on a Bagel

Needs more Frank's

Last night you drank. You drank a lot. When you woke up this morning, you peed for 4 minutes straight. Your head is pounding. Either the mid-afternoon sun barely peeking through the shades is blinding, or the gentle pitter-patter of rain sounds like a hundred hateful freight trains rushing by, depending on the weather. What are you gonna do, drink water? That’s a pussy-ass solution, bro! You need to go hardcore. You need carbs, protein, and grease. You need a sausage egg and cheese on a bagel, with hot sauce! It’s delicious, it’ll kill your hangover, and you’ll get a head start feeling productive for the day… until you stumble onto the couch to eat and watch Khloe & Lamar.

And yes I know I’m posting this on a Monday. Sunday’s are stressful. Deal with it.

Ingredients

  • 1 egg
  • a slice out of a roll of sausage
  • 1 bagel
  • 1 slice of cheese (or a small handful of shredded cheese)
  • salt, pepper, herbs & spices, Frank’s hot sauce, etc.

Overly In-Depth Instructions

The concept sure isn’t hard, and I’m sure you all know the basics: cook the egg, cook the sausage, toast the bagel, make a sandwich! So I’m just going to tell you my personal method.

If you have two pans, don’t mind washing them both, and can multitask at a very basic level, then get a small frying pan and a small skillet (or 2 small frying pans). Or use a large one that will fit both the egg and the sausage. I use separate ones because it’s easier to control cooking temperatures and I don’t really mind the cleaning.

Take your roll of sausage and cut a slice out of it. The roll is only maybe 2.5 or 3 inches in diameter, so you’re going to have to cut a rather thick slice and mash it down on a cutting board so its wider and thinner. My bagel was rather large, so I cut it about an inch thick and squashed it down to under a half inch with my spatula to fit the width of the bagel. Get a ziploc to store the rest of the sausage in the fridge until your next hangover (tomorrow).

Put the pans on the stovetop and turn them both on so you can cook your egg and sausage at the same time. I set the sausage skillet just above medium (6) and the egg pan just below medium (4). If you’re doing them in the same pan, I would set it to just below medium but give the sausage more time to cook. With my two-burner method, they’ll actually take about the same time. How cool is that!

By the way, those sausage rolls are raw meat! For some reason I used to think it was precooked like hot dogs and breakfast sausage links, but it’s not, so make sure it’s cooked through.

Anyway, cooking the sausage is hella easy… just let it sit there. For the egg, cover the pan in cooking spray and crack the egg. When I eat eggs out of a sandwich, like on a plate or whatever, I prefer them over easy with a runny yolk, but in a sandwich it gets messy and you definitely don’t want to deal with that in your current state of mind. So after I crack it, I break the yolk membrane with the spatula and sort of spread the yolk as evenly as I can over the top of the eggwhites (see the photo). And keep the eggwhites from spreading around everywhere with your spatula so it will fit on the bagel properly. Time for seasoning! I like lots of black pepper and just a little bit of salt, and I often use ground cayenne pepper and paprika too. Today I’m just using black pepper and salt because adding too many spices can make it taste kind of overwhelming. Just sprinkle all of this on top of the egg before you flip it.

The sausage should be sizzling away by now and the bottom side of the egg is getting all nice and… yaknow, cooked or whatever. So flip them both! Put a slice of cheese on top of the sausage (I’m using colby pepper jack). If you have a lid for the pan, put it on over the sausage so the cheese melts better. Oh yeah by the way, your bagel should have been toasting this entire time, like since you cracked the egg. Go back in time and do that.

Back to the present. A minute or two after you flipped everything, it should not only be done cooking/toasting, but all of it done at the same time! The bagel dings, the cheese melts, the sausage and the egg are both cooked, so its now sandwich assembly time. So just put it on whatever order you want. The picture below is sausage, then cheese, then egg if you care to know (but why would you?).

Now is the part that makes it taste the BEST. Before you close the sandwich, apply lots and lots and lots of Frank’s Red Hot Original hot sauce to the bagel. It is the best hot sauce ever. It’s so good. In fact, I usually put Frank’s on both halves of the bagel. Get a cup of coffee or a glass of orange juice, kiss that hangover goodbye, and say hello to a delicious, late afternoon food coma with a side of E! reality shows.

Note that you can use bacon instead of sausage, obviously. But I think most people already know how to cook bacon. I also find sausage patties to be more filling.

Advertisements

Chili

If there's too much liquid, let it simmer with no lid for an hour. And when removing the lid to stir, don't drip the lid condensation back into the chili.

This year I was going to make chili for the Superbowl.  Then I got drunk and invited a bunch of people to my apartment for the Patriots vs Broncos game last weekend, so I made chili for that game instead.  Unlike Tim Tebow, it performed quite well.  My friend Zack gave me some guidelines and instructions because he makes awesome chili, and I added a couple things to make it my own.  What’s weird is it’s really easy!  I’ve never made chili before and I’ve never used a crock pot before and i was surprised at how simple it all is.  Here’s what you need:

Ingredients

  • 1 lb 85% lean ground beef
  • 1 can of red kidney beans
  • 1 can of diced tomatoes
  • 1 can of whole kernel corn
  • 1 white or yellow onion
  • Half of a roll of hot sausage (half a pound)
  • 1 packet of McCormick’s Hot Chili Seasoning
  • Chili powder, ground cayenne, paprika
  • Cheese (cheddar or a Mexican blend)
  • Tortilla chips and/or Fritos

Tools

  • Large stock pot or crock pot (with lids)
  • A big strong spoon (wood works well)
  • A large cast iron skillet or frying pan.
  • A lot of time.  I started everything around 1:30 pm, got done cooking and mixing everything around 2:30 or 3:00, and let it simmer until the 8:00 game.  Definitely allow it to simmer for AT LEAST one hour minimum.

The Process

To give you an idea of how much chili this makes, I had about 10 people over and made a double batch, but I still only used a half pound of sausage total (I wanted leftover sausage… come back Monday to find out why!).  There was only enough for a few people to get seconds, so ideally I would have done this x3 and hoped for leftovers.

First, coarsely chop the onion and saute it with a bit of oil in the skillet.  While that’s happening, pour a can of diced tomatoes and a can of red kidney beans into the pot.  DO NOT strain them.  You need the water that comes with them in the can.  Also add the corn, but DO strain it.  You don’t need this much water! Never ever add any more water or anything, just the water from the beans and tomatoes.  If you are using a crock pot, set it to low.  If you are using a stock pot, put it on a burner on low for now.  Once the onions are floppy (like Tim Tebow getting sacked) and translucent, go ahead and pour them into the pot.

Now it’s beef’s turn!  Brown the pound of beef in the skillet.  If you don’t know how to brown ground beef, look it up somewhere. It’s easy but I don’t feel like explaining it.  As it browns, season it with a bunch of chili powder (not the McCormick’s chili seasoning yet), and a little cayenne, and paprika.  I think I might have added some cumin also.  Eyeball it and use common sense and personal taste to decide how much of each of the spices to add.  Once the beef is done browning, add it to the pot! You can strain the fat out if you’re a pansy. I didn’t. You shouldn’t either (Tim Tebow probably would).  Do the same with the sausage.  Brown it and add it to the pot.

Once you’ve added the beef (or wait for the sausage to be done, it doesn’t matter), mix up everything in the pot and add the McCormick’s Chili Seasoning.  It has flour or something in it so it sort of thickens the chili a little bit.  Keep mixing it.  Add more of your own chili powder, cayenne, and paprika if you’d like.  Mix!

If you’re using a stock pot, turn up the burner and keep stirring, especially scraping the bottom, until it starts bubbling. Then turn the heat way back down to simmer, put a lid on it, and stir it pretty often.  Always make sure to scrape the bottom to keep things from burning.  Anyway, if you’re using a crock pot, just keep it on low with the lid on. The crock pot should keep everything inside heated very evenly so you don’t need to stir it very often at all, and nothing should be burning onto the bottom or sides.  If there’s too much water, go ahead and take the lid off and let it steam away, but you shouldn’t have to do that very much.  Now you play the waiting game.

If you’re wondering if it’s going to be any good, just have a taste.  That’s the nice thing about chili is that you already know about how it’s going to taste hours before it’s done!  I would suggest going light with the extra spices at first, because you can always add some more.  If you added too much of something to begin with, there’s not a whole like you can do about it now.

Many Hours Later

OKAY it’s game time or dinner time or maybe you’re finally really hungry! Serve the chili in bowls and top with lots of cheese.  Crunch Fritos in your fist and sprinkle it on, and/or eat with tortilla chips instead of flatware. Or Fritos Scoops!

If you made the chili on the stove instead of a crock pot and didn’t scrape the bottom enough, you’re going to have a tough time cleaning it.  You may need a rag like a shirt you don’t wear anymore.  A Tim Tebow jersey, for example, would be effective. Too bad I can’t say the same for the real Tim Tebow.

Sorry for the lack of pictures…

Flygande Jakob

History Lesson

So you’re saying, “Hey what’s the deal? This isn’t school, it’s an upscale, super classy cooking blog! Plus I HATE history!” Don’t deny it, I can hear you saying it.  But you’re ALSO saying “What is Flygande Jakob?” and that’s what the history lesson is for!

“Why is it called what it’s called?” Flygande Jakob is Swedish for Flying Jacob.  It was invented in the 70’s or 80’s by a Swedish fellow named Jakobsson who did something with air freight.  You can figure out the rest. (thanks Wikipedia!)

“How did you hear about it?” From the Swedes, duh!  There’s a Youtube channel called Regular Ordinary Swedish Meal Time (they do aggressive cooking) and they made a fearsome Flying Jacob and I was instantly hooked.

“What’s in it?” Before you read the ingredients, I want to say don’t knock it ’til you try it.  I truly didn’t know what to expect but I swear it is super deeeeelish!  So here are the

ingredients

  • 3/4 or 1 cup of white rice (or so. Once you cook the rice, it should cover the bottom of a 7 x 13 inch baking dish)
  • A rotisserie chicken
  • 8 strips of bacon
  • 1/2 cup chili sauce
  • 1.5 cup cream (light or heavy.  I used light and it still tasted awesome, but you’re kinda supposed to whip it so I think it’s supposed to be heavy.  Up to you, dude!)
  • 3 bananas
  • Peanuts to taste (I used unsalted, I liked it, but maybe use lightly salted if you’re in a salty mood.)
  • Frank’s Red Hot hot sauce (optional)

I can’t stress this enough: do NOT knock it until you try it.

What to do

First, grab a pal! I used my friend Meli.  If you’re on your own, you should be a good multitasker or be prepared to take forever to make it.  Also this makes a lot of food and it’s pretty fatty so GL HF eating it by yourself…

Start out by cooking your rice.  Do it however you like (water vs chicken broth vs Uncle Ben’s vs etc).  Meli is Asian so she pretty much took care of that part.

While your rice is cooking, cut your bacon into pieces and cook that up.  PROTIP: Just dangle the strips over your frying pan and cut it with scissors directly into the pan! I would have never thought to do that, but it makes so much sense and it works wonderfully.  Or you can cook them in strip form and cut them up after if you’re more comfortable with that method.  If you don’t have a super big pan, you might want to do this in batches.

While you are baconing, make your buddy slice/cut/rip/tear the chicken into bitesize pieces. If they’re not very good at it, they’ll take about as much time as two batches of bacon bits takes (you’re a good sport, Meli).  ‘Round these parts (eastern MA), Five-Buck-Clucks happen on Thursdays at Roche Bros and Fridays at Stop&Shop, so the rotisserie chicken can end up pretty cheap!  If you’re not in the mood, you can use four chicken breasts, cut them into bitesize pieces, and pan-fry them (might need to do that in batches as well).  I’m definitely glad I went with the rotisserie though (include bits of skin for mo’ flava and mo’ fat).

Your rice has been done for a LONG time if you’re as bad at everything as we are, so line the bottom of a 7 x 13 inch baking dish with rice.  Mix the chicken and bacon and plop it down on top of the rice.  Slice TWO of the three bananas into circles and distribute them on top.  In a bowl, whisk the cream if you’re up for it.  I did it until my arm got tired so it basically ended up with a few bubbles on the surface :-/ but it’s still tastes foooiiiiiiine.  Mix in the chili sauce, and add in some Frank’s Red Hot (optional).  I didn’t do the hot sauce this time, but I definitely will next time. Pour it evenly on top of what’s in the baking dish.  Slice the last banana, add it on top, and sprinkle it evenly with peanuts (“peanuts to taste!”).

OKAY you’re almost finished!  I hope you read ahead and preheated your oven to 200 C (that’s around 390 F for you nimrods who aren’t into SI units) so I guess just go for 400 F??? IDK just do it for like 20-25 minutes.  The cream/chili sauce should darken a little. The bananas will look like mushrooms, but I promise they are still bananas. (btw I hate mushrooms so you will never see mushrooms in ANY recipe I EVER post about)

NOW YOU ARE DONE!!! CONGRATS!!!!!  Eat the shit out of it and enjoy the fuck out of it.  We had 3 people eating it, everyone went for seconds, and then two went for thirds a few hours later, and there was still about a third of it left so seriously don’t eat it by yourself.  Bone appetite!

Postscript

I know this is a long post, but it’s the first post with content in almost two months and its a weird recipe, so I hope you find it interesting. That’s my justification.  Thank you Meli for being my assistant and for letting me use your kitchen!  Thank you everyone who has complimented my blog and encouraged me, I’ll try to post a little more regularly! Happy new year!